Memoirs


After a long pause, I'm finally back to posting on here. This little corner of the internet will be a place to share stories from residency, lessons from medicine, moments behind the camera, and the things that inspire me beyond the hospital. Here's to creating, reflecting, and documenting the journey, one post at a time. 🤍






Every day, physicians answer the call to heal. We spend countless hours in the emergency room, operating rooms, and patient wards, carrying the responsibility of caring for others through their most vulnerable moments.

Today was different.

Today, we stepped away from our usual: charts, and duty schedules. We traded the familiar sounds of monitors for laughter, conversations, and moments of quiet reflection. It was a day dedicated to healing the healers—a chance to pause, reconnect, and remember that behind every physician is a person who also needs rest, support, and renewal.

The demands of medicine often require us to give so much of ourselves. Yet to continue caring for others with compassion and excellence, we must also care for our own well-being. This day allowed us to unwind, recharge, and strengthen the bonds that unite us not only as colleagues, but as friends and fellow travelers in this challenging profession.




As we return to our patients and responsibilities, we do so with renewed energy, clearer minds, and grateful hearts. Because healing is not only for those we serve—it is also for those who serve.

Today was a reminder that taking time to rest is not stepping away from our mission; it is preparing ourselves to fulfill it even better.

November is no doubt the busiest month of the year for me. This month, I turned a year older and I'm happy with how I spent my day with friends and family. I felt loved by the people who matter to me, and that's all I need. I spent the day with Marigold, one of my closest friends since freshman year of college. We had late lunch in a newly-opened cafe near my house. I wrote a separate post about it in this page. 
Lately, I've been building a habit of making collages about my days. I don't have much to say in this blog post; life's been mundane lately, so I'll let the photos speak for themselves, but I did add in short captions. Enjoy.

Mamang turned a year older too. She celebrates her day every 24th of November. This year, I made a bouquet of red roses from ribbons- a little DIY I learned on TikTok. I was able to buy her a small cake in berry creme flavor from a local cakeshoppe in CDO. We celebrated her birthday a little late because we had to attend other events but we were able to suprise her and shoot photos.

One event we went to was my aunt's grandson's birthday. It was a kid's party but I enjoyed it very much. There were clowns who did a bubble show and a famous nurse who works partime as a magician. It was not my first time watching his magic show. We hired him in one of our graduation parties year ago. There were also special guests, Optimus Prime and Bumblebee. My favorite part about the event was the fact that it was a group of people with different beliefs and that we got along pretty well. I like that about family. 

We celebrated my mom's birthday at Fat Chef, SM Northwing. It was a simple celebration. I ordered their famous streetfood served in a small ferris wheel. We had to finish early though, my little brother had to travel back home for classes the next day. 

Today, I went out for a study session. I had coffee at Fukuro, a Japanese-themed coffee shop near my place. It was a very productive afternoon while Hanie had her routine dialysis in the hospital. I was able to finish lectures on Microbiology and Parasitology. 

 Yesterday, I finished my 26th lap around the sun. I'm a year older and a lot wiser. Year 25 definitely changed me a lot and I'm loving the person I've become now. The past year was difficult and unkind to me but I'm making lemonade out of every lemon thrown. Going through difficult things make people grow wiser and I am proud and grateful to have gone through the most difficult year in my life (yet).

I didn't mean to make this post grim by talking about hardships but I've had my fair share the previous age year and I am proud of how I handled life's blues.


I spent the day with one of my friends from college. We don't see each other much often due to conflicting schedules and the 89 km between the cities we live in. We tried out this new cafe near home and she and her daughter surprised me with a cute bouquet of roses. My brother was there too. After class, he dropped by a bakeshop and bought me a chocolate cake with cute Japanese-style candles on them. The place was really calming and the food was inexpensive but still delicious. I'm not a fan of chocolate cake but seeing as my brother made an effort to get me one, I love it a whole lot more. 


I am so grateful for the people I got to spend my birthday with. I'm grateful to people who sincerely typed in birthday greetings and loving messages. Thank you to everyone who made effort to make turning 26 so sweet!



I haven't updated this blog for a while now. I had big hurls to jump over at the beginning of this year and time went by so fast I didn't notice it was midyear already. It's a bummer how much time had slipped but I owe myself the time to take pause and reflect on who I am now and how much I've grown compared to who I was a few months ago hence the hiatus from social media.

Post-internship times, I spent most of my days with my family. We had to get together before the summer ended because then my brother would be preoccupied with school. The family is doing well. little brother and I are currently living in ILG for his studies while Mamang and kaka are in CDO, setting the KT (kidney transplant) plan in motion. We are very hopeful on this and quite excited on her new chance at life. They recently visited us to get documents required by the hospital. It feel so nice to have the family back at home.

For the status quo, I am currently staying in ILG for my independent study time in preparation for the licensure exam on April 2024. I live with my brother who is a junior in high school.

PS. I've missed this. Just typing whatever that pops to my head (correct grammar or not) as if I were talking to an actual human being. Looking forward to making more updates on this blog.
This one's a bit overdue but I am extremely grateful for this milestone in my life. Two months ago, I finished my post-graduate internship. At first, it would seem like I was ungrateful for it. Finishing internship is a glorious moment for us interns who worked hard to deliver service to those in need of medical assistance. However, I was not up for celebrating it knowing I would still have 30 extension duties to face in order to rectify my lengthy absence (which was due to medical reasons). The situation was completely incomprehensible for me at that time. Numerous memorandums and announcements were sent out that rocked me to-and-fro on whether or not I should serve 30 extension duties. I was out of duty for medical reasons and yet I know a few who got away with unexcused absences. Judgement came and the final verdict was to serve. It felt unfair knowing I would be giving up a lot of my review time for extension duty acquired from absences due to valid medical reasons. It made me decide: I am not going to take the Physician Licensure Exam (PLE) this year. It would be unwise for me to take the exam after being hospitalized twice within a year (and still recovering) with extension duties waiting to be served. I lost a lot of time this year and I'm planning to allot adequate time for recovery and preparation for the board exam. 

In spite of my journey during internship, I am grateful that I finished. I feel so blessed to have my family's love and support through the ups and downs. I am grateful that despite of getting sick twice this year, I was able to finish the internship. I am proud of myself for deterring the timeline I had planned and giving myself time to recover and prepare for another milestone.



I started my internship last August at Northern Mindanao Medical Center, the same hospital where I had my clerkship. 

The first two months, I rotated in my chosen electives: pathology, otolaryngology-head and neck surgery, anesthesiology, and family medicine. Above photo: (C) me intubating a patient under Anesthesia

Probably one of the highlights in my pathology rotation is that we got to crash an event by MOMS (Misamis Oriental Medical Society) as ushers. We got to dress up fancy and eat at Luxe.
Above: (L) with the pathology residents on our last day in patho, (C) selfie with ENT clerks at the ER in front of our cute cubicle, (R) photo with the ENT residents, my co-PGIs, and clerks

After electives, I rotated in obstetrics and gynecology. It's a daunting department with a different level of exhaustion and yet I've learned to enjoy and love it. Although residents terrify me, I try to learn as much from them — and I did. Thank you, doctors. 

Also, we got matching pink scrubs the we wear almost every duty.
One of the pink residents got engaged and married last month and we got to join in and throw her a bridal shower. (R) Also another core memory, my groupmates and I went to Bluetail, a cafe within Ultra Winds Mountain Resort. Still during our previous status. The view was super nice and the place was really relaxing. I ordered a strawberry-flavored frappe, my new go-to flavor.
We also had a ton of help from our clerks from XU and Liceo. I hope they learned from us. (R) DQ break after OPD; (L) selfie at the ward, my least liked post
We had a breather before diving into our next rotation, pediatrics. My groupmates booked an airbnb within the city; they had alcohol, I had Mountain Dew; and we had a good time. 

I really appreciate my team for all the fun times, the brunches and dinners, the coffee breaks, the whispers and chismis. Hehe I wouldn't be able to cope up to the stress and exhaustion if it weren't for them sharing the journey with me.

And that's it! We're finally done with OB. Pink babies out!

    This year, I finished medical school! It feels so surreal- I'm still overwhelmed from looking back at four years of sleepless nights, breakdowns, and breakthroughs. However, I'm also very excited about being one step closer to becoming a physician. Though I still have a year of internship to go through, I feel like it'll pass quickly as did med school. 

    I celebrated my graduation day with family. I am so grateful especially to those who took great lengths just to be there- my uncle Nie who flew in from KSA, the Vedra-Pandi family who travelled for  hours, and a few others from my hometown. No words can accurately describe the extent of my gratefulness esp. to my sponsors, Tito Doc and Tita Flora, who believed in and me since day 1.There's a warmth inside me from knowing that I'm surrounded with people who are sincerely rooting for me.



This week, I got assigned to the pediatrics department and I had several opportunities to practice building rapport with pediatric patients as well as hone skills i.e. blood sampling, hemo-glucose test, and other essential tests and procedures for their medical care.

The most painful thing I had experienced while rotating in the pediatrics department is seeing parents worry for their child. It makes me cry thinking that most of my patients won't be able to live a normal life. Most of them will probably live most of their lives inside the hospital with a shortened lifespan and be subjected to multiple tests.

I had a patient who was struggling with Tuberous Sclerosis and was admitted due to changes in sensorium. He also had global developmental delay hence he was unable to comprehend and speak which made assessments very difficult. 

Seeing him for the first time, I was very anxious because I didn't expect to handle a patient who was unable to verbalize his feelings. The resident on duty told me to monitor the patient's sensorium hourly. I approached him to take his vital signs and I had planned to assess his sensorium using the Glasgow Coma Scale (GCS) . He was drowsy and quite unresponsive to his mother's voice. We had a hard time waking him up for assessment. His mother's voice was shaking, clearly about to break down in tears, as she called his name and tried to wake him up. It broke my heart hearing her voice quiver with fear of losing her child and it broke my heart seeing my patient struggle.




Earlier this week, we started our face-to-face clinical rotation at the Maria Reyna Xavier University Hospital.
It was very daunting. It was my first time to ever go on duty. I didn't know much of how the system worked but eventually I got familiar with it. I had new experiences that made me feel nervous and anxious but at the end of the day, those new experiences gave me clarity and reassurance that I am were I'm supposed to be.

New experiences: 
1. I got to hone my patient-interaction skills.
2. I used my Trodat stamp in making progress notes of patients.
3. I got to enter the labor room (LR), delivery room (DR), and neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).
4. I watched normal spontaneous vaginal delivery (NSVD), episiotomy, and episiorrhaphy happen.
5. On my last day of duty (at the OB department for this sem), I spent 24 hours in the hospital.
6. I presented a case during endorsements and was able to answer questions from the consultants.

I am currently in home quarantine for a week before I rotate in NMMC's pediatrics department this October 9th. Looking back at how I ended September, I feel extremely grateful to my groupmates, the patients, residents, and consultants for all the learning opportunities. I am hoping to learn more on my next shift in this hospital department.


I bought new specs from MetroSunnies online through Shopee. The parcel arrived today and it felt like Christmas morning. 

I also bought ones for my siblings: Judge in black for Hanie and Emperor in black for Arham.


Specs Haul

I have three MetroSunnies constrain glasses in total. I kept buying new ones because I'm not good at taking care of them. As a med student who is transitioning to paperless lifestyle, I frequently get eyestrain from studying using my laptop and iPad and that's why I decided to buy constrain glasses.


The first one I bought was Ally, a clear plastic framed pair of glasses that looked really cute however, since it was made up of plastic, it was flimsy and not really sturdy. This one had the most scratches because it was my first pair. *I chose Ally to match with Hannah Pangilinan and Sofia Manzano, two of my favorite YouTubers, who also had clear plastic framed glasses.

I couldn't bear the scratches on the lens so I bought another one. Judge in silver with a metal frame. I really love this one. It fits my face perfectly and I use it almost all the time. I kept dropping it and sometimes the lens would pop out of the frame because of the impact from the floor. Despite the scratches and the many  times it fell, this one was really durable.

My newest pair (the one that arrived today) is Kaiser. I've tried clear plastic and silver metal frames. Now, I'm trying out Kaiser in black with a metal frame. 



This year, I passed junior year and got promoted to senior clerk. It's a period in medical school where students get to hone their skills in handling patients in order to give proper care. We, as medical students, get to apply our knowledge of basic medical concepts to actual cases and help out with patient management.

Unfortunately, due to the uncontrolled COVID-19 cases, the city was put into lockdown and we're forced to have our clerkship online.

Am I liking it (online clerkship) so far?

At first, it gave a bit of relief because I felt I was in no-way ready to handle patients. I've never had any hospital-work exposure before and it scared me a lot. Over a few weeks, I realized that it was a fear I had to eventually face. Despite our current learning setup, the school and its affiliated hospitals made efforts to teach us. I'm hoping that we'll be get to have face-to-face learning soon and be able to hone our skills in building rapor with patients. 


 

Here's another café that I really like. The Apostrophe café is located at the ground floor of Centrio Mall, Cagayan de Oro City. The café has an industrial style for its interior: concrete painted white with wooden accents from tables and chairs. Also, the place is adorned with plants and pretty picture frames that puts aesthetic together.

I ordered one of their bestsellers, the Spanish latte, and it beats my go-to caramel macchiato. I visited this place and studied for my final examinations and another thing I really like about this café is that it has a lot of socket outlets for charging. It's definitely my go-to study corner because of its proximity to my place.


Yesterday, I went to Bowerbird Coffee PH, a very quaint and charming newly-opened local café near CDO Center Point. The place is nicely quiet and adorned plants, dried flowers, and beautiful artworks. The wooden accents from the tables and chairs and the concrete walls complete the industrial style of the place. A few other things I like about this place aside from their coffee and ambiance, are (1) their playlist and  (2) the support they give to small local businesses. 

The place has an industrial style to it. The walls are concrete and heavily adorned with artworks, plants, and flowers. 

As I mentioned, the coffeeshop supports small local businesses and they allow these businesses to display and sell their products. During my visit, they were selling Lawod PH bracelets and a few clothing pieces. 

I ordered one of their best-sellers, the Spanish latte. As you can see, the place is really small and can only accommodate probably only less than 10 people for dine-ins. I also had the pleasure of meeting the owner who was really pleasant. My overall experience in this establishment is really good.

Note: Safety protocols (temperature check, social distancing, wearing of face mask and face shield, etc.) were followed. 


Few days before the weekend, I suggested the we dined out for dinner before my little brother, Arham, starts school on Monday, so we booked a table for four at The Pantry Comfort Food by BATC. The place had good ambiance for intimate dinners. It's management also limited the number of costumers to 50% capacity so the place doesn't get too crowded, even on weekends and so we had to secure a table through reservation. The place was also pretty and well decorated. I was happy that I got to take a few portraits of my family.


Above are candid photos of my brother looking at his dynoburger. He kept stealing fries from mine and so we ordered another one. They had really big serving so we decided to share with mamang and Hanie.

Here are portraits of mamang who also took photos of me and siblings.

Portraits of my sister that she despised because she thinks she looks fat in them.


Here's what we ordered:






 


I'm really happy that 2020 finally ended but I am also terrified of what 2021 will bring. From what I learned in 2020, there's no guarantee that things will get better or plummet for worse, the only thing we can do is to live responsibly and be grateful for the things we currently have like our home, family, and good health.

Anyway, here's a recap of salvaged photos I had from 2020.


Last February, my friend and I went trekking on Lampanag Ridge, Impasugong, Bukidnon and it was one of my most memorable adventures in my entire life (I'm an indoor person btw).


2020 was also the year where I became a "junior" clerk (3rd year medical student). I celebrated alone and bought myself my favorite cake from Kathryn's Bakeshop in Cagayan de Oro City. Sophomore year in med school was really hard for me. We were going through topics really fast and there weren't much resting but I'm glad it paid off. 


Here is a screenshot of me and my classmates doing our small group discussion (SGD). We meet twice a week to have our discussion and the rest of the week are for lectures and Q&A sessions. Noting much happened in 2020. I stayed mostly in my pad and kept up with the online requirements.



December, after our final exams, was when I let loose. I went home after five months of staying in Cagayan de Oro and spent time with family. Of course, there were a lot of intimate family events that we had to go to like Tita Maia and her husband's kandori which was held at Apple Tree, Opol. Below are some of the photos I managed to salvage from my ipad. 


New year was also different. This year, we didn't get to spend it with Tita Flora's family. It was Toti's treat. We had a family dinner at Prawn House, Opol. My aunts body-shamed me for gaining weight (what's new) so I focused on this pretty view of luna drizzling moonlight on the sea. Toti also sponsored us our accommodation. We stayed at N hotel for two nights and three days. Below are photos of the view from the hotel room balcony.


Below are selfie photos during the New Year.


Anyway, that's it for this crammed up post on New Year. I hope everyone else had a good one and let's pray the 2021 be kinder to us. Let's not take advantage of our good health. Always sanitize, do handwash, and wear masks.

Happy New Year everyone! :-)

PS. I know this blogpost sucks but whatever.







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ABOUT ME

Hi, I'm Goldie —an OBGYN resident, art enthusiast, and photographer. This is my little corner to document life in medicine, creativity, and everything in between.

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