Memoirs






Every day, physicians answer the call to heal. We spend countless hours in the emergency room, operating rooms, and patient wards, carrying the responsibility of caring for others through their most vulnerable moments.

Today was different.

Today, we stepped away from our usual: charts, and duty schedules. We traded the familiar sounds of monitors for laughter, conversations, and moments of quiet reflection. It was a day dedicated to healing the healers—a chance to pause, reconnect, and remember that behind every physician is a person who also needs rest, support, and renewal.

The demands of medicine often require us to give so much of ourselves. Yet to continue caring for others with compassion and excellence, we must also care for our own well-being. This day allowed us to unwind, recharge, and strengthen the bonds that unite us not only as colleagues, but as friends and fellow travelers in this challenging profession.




As we return to our patients and responsibilities, we do so with renewed energy, clearer minds, and grateful hearts. Because healing is not only for those we serve—it is also for those who serve.

Today was a reminder that taking time to rest is not stepping away from our mission; it is preparing ourselves to fulfill it even better.

November is no doubt the busiest month of the year for me. This month, I turned a year older and I'm happy with how I spent my day with friends and family. I felt loved by the people who matter to me, and that's all I need. I spent the day with Marigold, one of my closest friends since freshman year of college. We had late lunch in a newly-opened cafe near my house. I wrote a separate post about it in this page. 
Lately, I've been building a habit of making collages about my days. I don't have much to say in this blog post; life's been mundane lately, so I'll let the photos speak for themselves, but I did add in short captions. Enjoy.

Mamang turned a year older too. She celebrates her day every 24th of November. This year, I made a bouquet of red roses from ribbons- a little DIY I learned on TikTok. I was able to buy her a small cake in berry creme flavor from a local cakeshoppe in CDO. We celebrated her birthday a little late because we had to attend other events but we were able to suprise her and shoot photos.

One event we went to was my aunt's grandson's birthday. It was a kid's party but I enjoyed it very much. There were clowns who did a bubble show and a famous nurse who works partime as a magician. It was not my first time watching his magic show. We hired him in one of our graduation parties year ago. There were also special guests, Optimus Prime and Bumblebee. My favorite part about the event was the fact that it was a group of people with different beliefs and that we got along pretty well. I like that about family. 

We celebrated my mom's birthday at Fat Chef, SM Northwing. It was a simple celebration. I ordered their famous streetfood served in a small ferris wheel. We had to finish early though, my little brother had to travel back home for classes the next day. 

Today, I went out for a study session. I had coffee at Fukuro, a Japanese-themed coffee shop near my place. It was a very productive afternoon while Hanie had her routine dialysis in the hospital. I was able to finish lectures on Microbiology and Parasitology. 

I haven't updated this blog for a while now. I had big hurls to jump over at the beginning of this year and time went by so fast I didn't notice it was midyear already. It's a bummer how much time had slipped but I owe myself the time to take pause and reflect on who I am now and how much I've grown compared to who I was a few months ago hence the hiatus from social media.

Post-internship times, I spent most of my days with my family. We had to get together before the summer ended because then my brother would be preoccupied with school. The family is doing well. little brother and I are currently living in ILG for his studies while Mamang and kaka are in CDO, setting the KT (kidney transplant) plan in motion. We are very hopeful on this and quite excited on her new chance at life. They recently visited us to get documents required by the hospital. It feel so nice to have the family back at home.

For the status quo, I am currently staying in ILG for my independent study time in preparation for the licensure exam on April 2024. I live with my brother who is a junior in high school.

PS. I've missed this. Just typing whatever that pops to my head (correct grammar or not) as if I were talking to an actual human being. Looking forward to making more updates on this blog.
This one's a bit overdue but I am extremely grateful for this milestone in my life. Two months ago, I finished my post-graduate internship. At first, it would seem like I was ungrateful for it. Finishing internship is a glorious moment for us interns who worked hard to deliver service to those in need of medical assistance. However, I was not up for celebrating it knowing I would still have 30 extension duties to face in order to rectify my lengthy absence (which was due to medical reasons). The situation was completely incomprehensible for me at that time. Numerous memorandums and announcements were sent out that rocked me to-and-fro on whether or not I should serve 30 extension duties. I was out of duty for medical reasons and yet I know a few who got away with unexcused absences. Judgement came and the final verdict was to serve. It felt unfair knowing I would be giving up a lot of my review time for extension duty acquired from absences due to valid medical reasons. It made me decide: I am not going to take the Physician Licensure Exam (PLE) this year. It would be unwise for me to take the exam after being hospitalized twice within a year (and still recovering) with extension duties waiting to be served. I lost a lot of time this year and I'm planning to allot adequate time for recovery and preparation for the board exam. 

In spite of my journey during internship, I am grateful that I finished. I feel so blessed to have my family's love and support through the ups and downs. I am grateful that despite of getting sick twice this year, I was able to finish the internship. I am proud of myself for deterring the timeline I had planned and giving myself time to recover and prepare for another milestone.




I had never experienced severe illness until December of 2022. We were nearing the end of our rotation in the Pediatric ER when I had onset of fever that wouldn't resolve after intake of medications. I had endured this state and did water therapy. I still managed to go to my PM shift however, 2 hours in, my body was on the verge of passing out. I called my mom and she and our driver raced to the hospital were I was training. My aunts and uncles came too and they accompanied me to another private hospital for workup. Workup was done and I was managed as a case of anemia and electrolyte imbalance, and was discharged from the ER. However, the following day, I had worsening shortness of breath and so they had me admitted. 


My chest x-ray and 2D echocardiogram showed an enlarged heart with a large volume of fluid around it. I was referred to a cardiologist and he had me monitored in case I go into tamponade, a state wherein the heart can no longer pump due to massive volume of fluid around it. They had me tested for COVID-19 through RT-PCR and it came out positive and my mom and I were isolated for 9 days. 


Nine days of isolation really altered our brain chemistry. Days seem routine and they went by pretty fast. Althroughout isolation, my mom took really good care of me despite the exhaustion and I can feel how stressed she was from constantly worrying. I have so much love and appreciation for her. 

During my hospital stay, my condition worsened despite medications so they tested me for connective tissue diseases and so I was referref to a rheumatologist. My ANA and anti-dsDNA which are markers for systemic lupus erythematousus came out positive as well and my doctor called it.


My medications grew in number as they discovered several diseases i.e. pericardial effusion, congestion, COVID-19, SLE, and anemia. I had bruises from blood extractions and IV insertions. I was growing tired of being the patient— I wanted to go home. 


Series of 2D echocardiogram was done, and they saw that the volume of fluid around my heart was getting bigger despite medications. The following day, I was rushed to the operating room and the cardiologist attempted to do pericardiocentesis, a procedure wherein a needle is inserted into the chest and fluid around the heart is aspirated. However, he was only able to aspirate blood and the procedure was aborted. I had five puncture wounds from when he tried inserting and repositioning the needle while being guided by ultrasound.


I was recently discharged yet family still makes effort to take care of me. They randomly call to check if I'm okay. They're interested in how I'm recovering and they make sure I eat and drink my take home medications. Manong bob drives me to the hospital and my mom just does everything to make sure I recovery from this experience. 

 
I was so excited to go back to work. Although immunocompromised from the steroids, I'm hoping my body stays healthy for the remaining duration of internship. I am grateful to my doctors for taking good care of me, to my family and friends who made this experience a whole lot easier, to my mom who would move mountains to see me get better.
I started my internship last August at Northern Mindanao Medical Center, the same hospital where I had my clerkship. 

The first two months, I rotated in my chosen electives: pathology, otolaryngology-head and neck surgery, anesthesiology, and family medicine. Above photo: (C) me intubating a patient under Anesthesia

Probably one of the highlights in my pathology rotation is that we got to crash an event by MOMS (Misamis Oriental Medical Society) as ushers. We got to dress up fancy and eat at Luxe.
Above: (L) with the pathology residents on our last day in patho, (C) selfie with ENT clerks at the ER in front of our cute cubicle, (R) photo with the ENT residents, my co-PGIs, and clerks

After electives, I rotated in obstetrics and gynecology. It's a daunting department with a different level of exhaustion and yet I've learned to enjoy and love it. Although residents terrify me, I try to learn as much from them — and I did. Thank you, doctors. 

Also, we got matching pink scrubs the we wear almost every duty.
One of the pink residents got engaged and married last month and we got to join in and throw her a bridal shower. (R) Also another core memory, my groupmates and I went to Bluetail, a cafe within Ultra Winds Mountain Resort. Still during our previous status. The view was super nice and the place was really relaxing. I ordered a strawberry-flavored frappe, my new go-to flavor.
We also had a ton of help from our clerks from XU and Liceo. I hope they learned from us. (R) DQ break after OPD; (L) selfie at the ward, my least liked post
We had a breather before diving into our next rotation, pediatrics. My groupmates booked an airbnb within the city; they had alcohol, I had Mountain Dew; and we had a good time. 

I really appreciate my team for all the fun times, the brunches and dinners, the coffee breaks, the whispers and chismis. Hehe I wouldn't be able to cope up to the stress and exhaustion if it weren't for them sharing the journey with me.

And that's it! We're finally done with OB. Pink babies out!
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ABOUT ME

Hi, I'm Goldie —an OBGYN resident, art enthusiast, and photographer. This is my little corner to document life in medicine, creativity, and everything in between.

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